How To Be Effortlessly Charming? - Apply These 5 Secrets

How To Be Effortlessly Charming? - Apply These 5 Secrets

How To Be Effortlessly Charming? - Apply These 5 Secrets

Charm is more valuable than beauty. You can resist beauty but you can't resist charm.

In this post I'm going to use a celebrity that everyone likes as an example, for the purpose of this article. I'm going to use Shahrukh Khan. Shahrukh Khan has a subtle and almost effortless charm. And unlike some of the people that we've covered, you don't have to take drastic steps to emulate it. So today we are going to be looking at some of the habits that make him so effortlessly charismatic and learn what you can do to convey that same charm in your life.

How To Be Effortlessly Charming? - Apply These 5 Secrets

1. Focus On Setting The Tone

The first thing that you can learn from Shahrukh is that, at the start of every social interaction rather than focusing on what you say focus primarily on setting the tone and pick the one that suits you best. Now, to see this principle in action let's begin by examining the most common start to any social situation, entering a room. First think about any social entrance of Shahrukh on stage. You'll notice the Shahrukh feels much relaxed. His pace is slower. He looks around smiling and he lingers to greet the audience. That carefree attitude sets the tone from the start and frames the rest of the conversation. You'll also see Shahrukh often spend more time to touch and warmly greet people when he enters a new space like that. All these habits add up to one clear point. Whether you're walking into an interview or workplace meeting or a bar, for the first 10 to 20 seconds of any new interaction in a new place, rather than worrying about what to say next. Focus on setting the tone. Now, you can go really high energy like Ranveer Singh with huge gestures greeting everyone loudly. Or you can go for the more subdued Shahrukh charm by taking time to make yourself comfortable and then greeting others with a smile. Either way the energy at the start of an interaction counts for far more and the specific words you say, so put your focus there. Now, if it's not already clear, the energy that Shahrukh tends to create is one of comfort and this extends to how he situates himself physically. The reason that this is important to note is that physical comfort leads to psychological comfort and feeling comfortable is one of the main ingredients of charm. Even the simple act of crossing your legs, if that makes you feel comfortable or resting your arms on the on chair combined with a relaxed posture can make you feel as if you were hanging out in your own living room as opposed to being under any sort of pressure like on a talk show or in an interview. Now moving on to the next point. Let's discuss an easy way to make people laugh and enjoy your company without having to tell funnier jokes or even be much higher energy. And that is number two.

2. Laughing With Your Eyes 

What are you talking about " How To & Lifestyle "? By showing signs of laughter in your own eyes works the same way as other people laughing can make you crack up for no apparent reason. Seeing laughing eyes can do the same without you even realizing. And if you're worried about laughing at your own jokes, don't sweat it. When you have fun with your jokes even to the point of laughing at them, it is very charming. As long as the laughter is real and not forced.

So the key here isn't simply to squint your eyes or put on a veneer of laughter behind your speech. It's to get emotionally involved with what you're saying so that is actually fun for you. And when you do this, your eyes will naturally go to that laughing look and people will match you making your charm effortless. And this brings us to another element where more genuine involvement in the things that you're saying is going to help and that is your number three. 

3. Genuine Eye-Contact

How To Be Effortlessly Charming? - Apply These 5 Secrets

Now, there's a popular myth that more eye contact is simply better. And of course if you're staring at your feet half the time more eye contact would be an improvement. But Shahrukh style of speech illustrates that looking down while forming thoughts can actually make your communication feel more genuine. After all, there is a natural tendency to look down when you're accessing emotional memories. The key then is not to make unblinking eye contact but to be more like a boomerang, making sure to return to the person you're speaking to after looking away so that they feel involved. If you are giving more sporadic eye contact, the best time to deliver that, is when you're making your most important point and there's no hard and fast rule. But Shahrukh shows a way to handle this with humor. And that's to make the punch line when you deliver that strong eye contact, but then to break as people laugh, so they don't feel too much pressure and you see him do this repeatedly. Now, lets move on to our next piece.

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4. Self Deprecating Humor & Complimenting Others

And it's Shahrukh's self-deprecating nature. He does this all the time, but what's perhaps most interesting here is, that he does his self-deprecation more in some situations than in others and it connects two seemingly opposite sides of his personality. His propensity to tease prank and laugh at people compared to his propensity to compliment people and to laugh at himself. Now the reason that these two opposing sides actually work so well together is that there's a pattern to the way Shahrukh uses them. He's likely to be playful with people of a similar status. Sometimes teasing them or laughing at them but is often supportive and complimentary towards those that might have a lower status than him in any given social situation so for instance Shahrukh will tease other celebrities of a similar stature. He's also notorious for pulling pranks on his colleagues.The flip side. He regularly showers his interviewers who are less known in compliments. And he often delivers these compliments with self-deprecation lowering his own position in a joking way. So consider whether you are punching up or down, when it comes to teasing or laughing at people. At your level and above and it's more likely to be fun for everyone involved as long as you're coming from a positive place. But if you're talking to someone who is lower than you in terms of status like a student who's in a younger grade or an employee who's underneath you in a business hierarchy or someone operating in a service role for you, generally compliments are a much better way to go because you can come across as a bully without even meaning to if you're teasing due to your status. 

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5. Shahrukh's Goal Is To Feel Good

Now, this finally brings us to the mindset which ties all of this together. And it's that it doesn't appear that Shahrukh's ultimate goal in conversation is to be charming nor should it be yours. It appears that his ultimate goal is simply to feel good and to make the other people around him feel good, too. That's why he takes the time to settle in and it's why he has variable ways of treating people. Different things make people feel better depending on their status. Now, if you do this, you'll probably find, that you are more willing to crack jokes at your own expense. You'll also find that you're quicker on your feet when things go wrong because it's just another opportunity to have fun. 

So, instead of habitually asking yourself, what can I do to fit in or what do I have to say to make this conversation better? Ask yourself instead, what would make both of us feel more comfortable right now? What would make both of us have more fun? Do that, the charm will flow much more easily.

Remember,

Charisma is a skill that can be learned

So, guys these were 5 secrets about " How To Be Effortlessly charming " . Besides that guys, stay tuned.

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